The P and I Words...
When I decided to study Hebrew I didn't know the crazy roller coaster ride I was about to embark on.
When I started studying Hebrew I knew nothing about the Arab-Israeli or Israeli-Palestinian conflicts. I started off by trying to decipher what I thought was an impossible language to learn and by the time I finished university I had become one of the few experts of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict that isn't a Jew or an Arab. Nope, just a Mexican-American girl from a small town with no Jews and no Arabs. How did this happen?
Well, I ask myself the same thing. People often ask why I studied the Middle East. Why I chose to focus on Israel and Palestine? Frankly, I don't know. But what I do know well is the adversity I have faced in the field. Not many people that aren't directly involved in the conflicts choose to study them. I've only met a handful of individuals who do. Let's face it, its hard to study something that you're not connected to.
And often people with direct connections to the conflicts will disparage your insight, treat it as second hand, or even irrelevant. Some people have even become offended when I tell them I study their language, their narratives, and their history. It's easy to be discouraged but I've learned to deal with these comments as time has gone by.
I first started studying Hebrew in 2014. And it has been the most demanding and steepest hill I've had to climb thus far. My first class was an elementary class yet almost 90 percent of the students in my class had gone to Jewish Day school and learned some Hebrew growing up or their parents are Israelis. Students would ask me why I chose to study the language of their forefathers and why I even cared about it if only a small part of the world's population spoke it.
Eventually, these comments inspired me to study the State of Israel and I got an internship at the Center for Israel Studies on campus. I learned about the history, societal issues, and the conflicts as well. I went to live in Israel, I studied, I traveled the country, I traveled to the West Bank, and even to Jordan. I met individuals from all sides of the conflicts and I've listened to them as they have shared their narratives and experiences with me. Living there has given me the most insightful and valuable knowledge about the conflicts. There I was welcomed and people were very happy to share with me and hear from me.
But here in the states its a whole different story. Especially on my university campus. I found it extremely difficult to explain my areas of interest. The students weren't ready to hear that I studied a conflict I am not connected to in any way besides my academic studies and study of Hebrew and Arabic. Hell, I never even felt safe to say the word "Palestinians" in front of Jews and pro-Israel individuals and vice versa, I never felt comfortable enough to say the word "Israel" in front of Arabs, Muslims, or pro-Palestine individuals.
It always seemed as if I were to mention the other I would immediately be judged even though my purpose as a scholar isn't to choose a side rather make observations and mitigate dialogue between these groups. Personally, I think it's this that makes this area of study unattractive and it saddens me.
I remember when I first started learning Arabic back in 2016 when we were asked to introduce ourselves and what we studied I was so cautious and almost didn't say that I studied the Arab- Israeli conflicts in fear that I would be treated differently. Or when I started doing my research on Arab and Jewish mixed couples in Israel, I was bullied and called many things. I got so much hate for it when I first started but eventually, I learned not to mind it.
I've actually learned a few things along the journey. But most importantly I’ve learned that there is always going to be people that judge me for what I study and what I am and what I'm not. But at the end of the day, these people haven't experienced the things I've experienced on this crazy roller coaster. Nowadays I have no problem with saying the "P" word or the "I" word in front of anyone. And I hope that one day scholars in this field will not let these comments and experiences discourage them from studying the Arab- Israeli conflicts.There is a great need for scholars in the field that aren't emotionally attached to either side.
When I started studying Hebrew I knew nothing about the Arab-Israeli or Israeli-Palestinian conflicts. I started off by trying to decipher what I thought was an impossible language to learn and by the time I finished university I had become one of the few experts of the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict that isn't a Jew or an Arab. Nope, just a Mexican-American girl from a small town with no Jews and no Arabs. How did this happen?
Well, I ask myself the same thing. People often ask why I studied the Middle East. Why I chose to focus on Israel and Palestine? Frankly, I don't know. But what I do know well is the adversity I have faced in the field. Not many people that aren't directly involved in the conflicts choose to study them. I've only met a handful of individuals who do. Let's face it, its hard to study something that you're not connected to.
And often people with direct connections to the conflicts will disparage your insight, treat it as second hand, or even irrelevant. Some people have even become offended when I tell them I study their language, their narratives, and their history. It's easy to be discouraged but I've learned to deal with these comments as time has gone by.
I first started studying Hebrew in 2014. And it has been the most demanding and steepest hill I've had to climb thus far. My first class was an elementary class yet almost 90 percent of the students in my class had gone to Jewish Day school and learned some Hebrew growing up or their parents are Israelis. Students would ask me why I chose to study the language of their forefathers and why I even cared about it if only a small part of the world's population spoke it.
Eventually, these comments inspired me to study the State of Israel and I got an internship at the Center for Israel Studies on campus. I learned about the history, societal issues, and the conflicts as well. I went to live in Israel, I studied, I traveled the country, I traveled to the West Bank, and even to Jordan. I met individuals from all sides of the conflicts and I've listened to them as they have shared their narratives and experiences with me. Living there has given me the most insightful and valuable knowledge about the conflicts. There I was welcomed and people were very happy to share with me and hear from me.
But here in the states its a whole different story. Especially on my university campus. I found it extremely difficult to explain my areas of interest. The students weren't ready to hear that I studied a conflict I am not connected to in any way besides my academic studies and study of Hebrew and Arabic. Hell, I never even felt safe to say the word "Palestinians" in front of Jews and pro-Israel individuals and vice versa, I never felt comfortable enough to say the word "Israel" in front of Arabs, Muslims, or pro-Palestine individuals.
It always seemed as if I were to mention the other I would immediately be judged even though my purpose as a scholar isn't to choose a side rather make observations and mitigate dialogue between these groups. Personally, I think it's this that makes this area of study unattractive and it saddens me.
I remember when I first started learning Arabic back in 2016 when we were asked to introduce ourselves and what we studied I was so cautious and almost didn't say that I studied the Arab- Israeli conflicts in fear that I would be treated differently. Or when I started doing my research on Arab and Jewish mixed couples in Israel, I was bullied and called many things. I got so much hate for it when I first started but eventually, I learned not to mind it.
I've actually learned a few things along the journey. But most importantly I’ve learned that there is always going to be people that judge me for what I study and what I am and what I'm not. But at the end of the day, these people haven't experienced the things I've experienced on this crazy roller coaster. Nowadays I have no problem with saying the "P" word or the "I" word in front of anyone. And I hope that one day scholars in this field will not let these comments and experiences discourage them from studying the Arab- Israeli conflicts.There is a great need for scholars in the field that aren't emotionally attached to either side.
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